Stone

The legend of Stone comes to us both from legend and history, making it hard to separate fact from fiction. Some say Stone is a mythical, ancient king who was born in the year 69, some say he's just a weirdo, yet some others say he's a hero who'll come to your aid if you fart loud enough. According to the historical records, Stone has a thick, nice beard and enjoys wearing hats.

Some legends also speak of his love of cats, food and farting loudly, sometimes into microphones. People also say that smelling his farts brings good luck. There are several books telling of his adventures and battles against his many opponents but perhaps the most well known tale is his battle against Mary Majora, who unleashed her wrath on Stone thanks to his friends, Pat and Mike. Records show the ensuing battle lasted for days, with both Stone and Mary wielding their legendary Ban Hammers masterfully; legends also said countless witnesses fell victim to the swings of their Ban Hammers but the records of the fallen have been lost. Historically, we have no way of knowing who won their first battle, but we do know they faced each other multiple times, each time more fierce than the last and taking more bystanders with their Ban Hammers. Some legends also say that, following one of these battles, Stone was imprisoned in a place called the Horny Jail, designed to keep Stone trapped forever, but he managed to escape.

It is also said that Stone is often seen in the company of a forest fairy, who the people often call Mooshbean and who is a master of the Ban Hammer herself, even if she doesn't always join Stone in battle. Historical records show that Mooshbean may, in fact, be Stone's daughter but there's no evidence to confirm it. What we do know is that Stone is protective of Mooshbean and won't hesistate to use his Ban Hammer against anyone who tries to harm her.

Currently, those who look up to Stone gather in great halls, wearing Stone's coat of arms, to talk about his exploits. This group of supporters has come to be known as the Anti - Social Gaming Club and its members are known to follow Stone's teachings, often farting loudly during their gatherings and yelling Stone's battle cry at the top of their lungs: "Shit on my balls!"

List of exploits

The following exploits can be found in several sources, some historical records and some legends, which makes it hard to know if these actually happened this way, yet the Anti - Social Gaming Club recognizes these as part of Stone's history.


 * 1) Stone was able to tell Coke and Pepsi apart in a blind taste test, which earned him a reward.
 * 2) Stone has earned the title of Ban Hammer Master.
 * 3) Stone's friends Pat and Mike once joined him in battle against Mary Majora and managed to win.
 * 4) Stone was there when Pokemon Trainer Jared, AKA TheTruthlessHero, caught and described the mythical purple Psyduck.
 * 5) Stone once farted so loudly that it could be heard all over the world.
 * 6) Stone has easily beaten several video games considered by other gamers to be difficult. Some of these video games include the Soul Series, which Stone managed to beat blindfolded.
 * 7) Stone managed to earn the love of his now trusted companion, The Great Yuna.
 * 8) Chuck Norris once stared right into Stone's eyes. Stone survived with no injuries.
 * 9) Stone recognizes his most loyal followers by sending them feet pics and, in rare, special cases, feet videos.
 * 10) Despite his numerous battles with Mary Majora, both have joined forces to battle other foes, like the legendary Shreka.
 * 11) Stone once sold his soul to the devil at a crossroads in exchange for being able to look incredible in any outfit.

Even with such a long list of exploits, there are things that are just considered rumors, like the true name of Stone. Historical records indicate that it could be Rose or Hosea but experts can't agree on this. Another thing experts can't agree on is Stone's birthday, which is why it is celebrated every day but especially during the month of September, which is when most historical records indicate it could be.

Trivia

 * Stone has never farted
 * Stone's birthday is coming up
 * Even though he loves Mooshbean, she is also a filthy turd
 * Invented both the catchphrase "Shit on my balls!" as well as the meme "Big dick swingin'"
 * Has more knees than Delta
 * Stone hates Mary's butt
 * Stone's favorite band is rumored to be Green Day